Samantha’s Story
Psoriatic Arthritis
I am no stranger to a hospital, medications, or hospital routines in general. My 24-year-old son was born with chronic kidney disease and got a new kidney 8 years ago. So I was surprised when, almost 2 years ago, my body felt like it was not doing what I wanted anymore. I had surgery on both heels to remove bone spurs, and my feet never got better. I lost over 100 lbs, and still my joints felt the same. After seeing my first rheumatologist, they decided it was all in my head. My doc didn’t agree and sent me for a 2nd opinion, where I found out I indeed have psoriatic arthritis—started methotrexate shots every week and humriloz shots every other week. I would love to say that after 5 months, these shots are working, but that would be a lie. I have very high stress with my son’s health, my own health, and my 13-year-old daughter’s anxiety and struggles. Being a school bus driver does not help my stress level, but those little smiling faces keep me coming back for more! Most days I feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Chronic pain and fatigue have consumed my life. The only thing I do anymore is work, come home, and go to bed. My husband of 27 years is losing his mind with me. My house is a complete wreck all the time. Most weekends, I am in bed recovering so I can start over on Mondays to do it all over again. I take naps almost daily. My medical bills are piling up, and to make matters worse, they are sure there may be another autoimmune condition, but they aren’t sure yet.
Possibly Crohn’s. Last thing I want or need. My 3 beautiful kids, Dakota, Hannah, and Laila, keep me trying whatever the doctors throw at me. Not to mention my love of being a school bus driver. The hardest part is the friendships I feel are lost and the disconnect with certain family members. Some make me feel like I’m not doing enough or that it’s really not that bad, she’s just over exaggerating. I would wish this on no one. I miss the me I used to be. I’m a caregiver by nature. I have always cared for my chronically ill son, and now, when I need care, it seems my son is the only one who gets it. I often think of finding Nemo when Dory says just keep swimming. That’s exactly what I’m doing! I am 49 years old and have lots of life left. I’m not done living. I just need to find what is gonna work and give me some of myself back. Thank you for listening. Stay strong, everyone!
